The Diary of Deadly Deathness
 
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Shade's LiveJournal:

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    Tuesday, May 27th, 2014
    11:16 pm
    Positively Photographic: Dresden
    Here are a couple of shots from good old Dresden, Germany, courtesy of my surviving both the trip there and the return journey.

    Fortunately, almost all of them feature a certain cyan blue pony. I figured that there'd be enough people out there already photographing the newly-wed pair and their guests, but possibly not providing that many pictures of pies and ponies. I rose to the occasion in an effort to restore the cosmic balance.

    It is often said that a hero's job is never done. Today I post the photos in life that matter.

    It's all behind this cut!Collapse )
    Wednesday, May 7th, 2014
    5:08 am
    Processing.. Processing.. Processing..
    It's half past four in the morning, but I'm going to get this out of the way before bed time! So, let's abuse LJ so I can meet my 'at least one post every two years' quota.

    So, here it is: I casually got a question to show the process of one of my pony paintings. So, I did a simple piece so I didn't get too distracted with scanning the piece. (The difficulty is that between washes new things will come to mind, and it'd take a lot of time waiting for them to dry each time.)

    It's called 'The Most Creative Pony in all of Equestria' and is all about Trixie being Trixie, except that she's drawing stuff. It's serious business, you understand.

    You have to click here. Please!Collapse )
    Thursday, June 14th, 2012
    11:39 am
    Positively Photographic : Denmark
    Oh right. I should really be more punctual with my photo posts, even though it's doubtful many people will stumble across them. But you did. Would you like to see some photos from my trip to Lystrup in April?

    Yes please!Collapse )
    Wednesday, June 13th, 2012
    11:16 am
    Saturday, March 17th, 2012
    4:52 pm
    Positively Photographic V
    In this edition I've got some abstract, some winter, and some spring. I'll put them in a random order. Just because.


    Click.Collapse )
    3:08 pm
    Face your Fears



    I have a cup of tangerine green tea and a backlog of things I desperately need to ramble about.


    So, short intro; I like to draw things and call them art every once in a while. Visual art is nice and digestable and as such (surely this must be the only reason?) I've been fortunate enough to have gathered a tidy audience. Now, recently--instead of releasing depressing music to deal with relationship woes--I've drawn ponies. Lots and lots of ponies. So much ponies that I've barely drawn anything else. What can I say? It works and is reliable in making me at least feel productive.


    Now, ponies are quite popular, so you'd think this is a sound development. Actually reality for me lies more on the opposite end. Only when you're good enough to make people eat your ideas regardless of their preferences in medium or what-have-you do you escape the necessity of producing 'show-accurate' renderings. In addition to that most of the people I've been lucky enough to have watching actually are disappointed if anything that I'm not drawing the subject matter I have been previously.


    This might sound a little business-like. But there's only one reason for me to draw ponies, and that's because I need to for my sanity to stay in its current position at the cliffside overlooking the volcanic geysers of further dramatic metaphors. It's important in life to simply do what you want to and never apologise for your creations. Stick by your desires, whether they are deemed 'cool' or not. Play football or video games, drive cars or make muffins - it really doesn't matter. I know that this is not necessarily easy. Society has always functioned in part by telling the individual what is expected of them and to never think about it for more than a minute or two.


    Growing up I've always been surrounded by people who did not want me to succeed, and always looked the other way when I did. In English there's no word for this form of jealousy, but we may borrow from German (we'll escape Dutch that way) and introduce missgunst. It's the phenomenon of not granting others status, respect, and success for no real reason at all outside of perhaps one's own narcissistic sense of entitlement. If you notice your 'friends' or family fit this line of behaviour it's time for an upgrade. Start with the guy that's just sort of there. You know, that guy. The more positive encouragement you have in your surroundings the more comfortable you'll be and the less inclined you are to exaggerate the negativity from the insignificants who lurk in the background. Remember that they're in the background for a reason - and it's not because they're such a lovely shade of pink.


    Whenever someone overreacts to any opinion it's a good idea to keep in mind that, quite likely, they've been consistently forced to defend themself growing up and in a way haven't quite escaped that mode. If you're required to feel guilty about your quiet dissent you'll be that much extra likely to grow up shouting your rebellious slogans down the streets years later. By extension we can get sidetracked by things we feel we should protest and be indignant about. It doesn't matter how nuanced we can be if we lose track of the truly important aspects of our lives. The truth is that unless you're a rapaciously racist rapist it really doesn't matter what anyone is or is not into.


    This is not at all an elegant way of saying that, yes, by all means, focus on the positive impulses in life. Fuck the haters, yo. Pursue the things that make you happy and reserve your attention for the people who fit into that. You might be surprised at how much more motivated and satisfied you can become.
    Sunday, January 1st, 2012
    5:25 pm
    Positively Photographic IV
    I've often considered in these past few days to write a lofty, reflective entry in this virtual log book on the nature of friendships and various relationships, and what they've meant to me throughout the years. But, I think it might be more worthwhile to convey such wisdoms (such as they are) by means of another picture post. Here we go!

    Cats, ponies and presents reside here.Collapse )
    Friday, December 9th, 2011
    3:09 am
    Positively Photographic III
    Here are some creatures - not all cats this time! - I made my mom take one day I was on a quest to feed the birds some carrots and walnuts.

    Clickity-clickCollapse )
    Wednesday, November 16th, 2011
    10:02 pm
    Monday, November 7th, 2011
    12:31 pm
    Positively Photographic I
    This 'blog' (I pronounce the term "blaaargh" half of the time) has to evolve alongside me or perish. And so, it has to come to be a canvas to regularly dump photographs upon. Afterall, I don't really have any other place to do so anymore, and LJ has served me well in this regard in the past.

    As the title suggests I'll be focussing on having them be a positive charge. Just things that make me smile for no particular rhyme or reason easily discernable. That does involve a high amount of neighbourhood creatures. In fact, I was planning on just releasing a batch of cats and birds from the city - but, why wait? There're other pecularities about that deserve a place in the sun, and there will always be new photos of cats. Such is the way of the internet. And afterall, why not?

    I might also be tempted to put in some work in progress sketches alongside them (don't blame me for this, it was suggested I do so by lovely creatures who don't live inside my own head). I believe one per post is a nice ratio. I'll make them belong somehow.

    Strange creatures roam behind this link.Collapse )
    Friday, July 29th, 2011
    3:55 pm
    Commas and Sticks
    The men are out gathering, the women are cooking. On the clearing a kid walks up to another, smugly carrying a stupid grin on his face. The other kid must wonder, 'What does this pertain?' The first then proudly brandishes a wooden stick. No words necessary, instant gratification on the knowing of immense superiority being achieved. He's the alpha kid now, and his pants will show it. But the other kid doesn't give up. Soon he'll search far and wide.. for bigger sticks, larger sticks, stickier sticks.. but most of all more sticks. 26 should be about enough.

    A couple of millenia later we have massive corporations owning more than half of the planet's resources, and using them only on getting more. More and more for the sake of trying to have as many people as possible compliment them on the size of their pants. All the while governments stooping down like marionettes to catch just a glimpse of the goods behind for a good sucking. Cause everybody likes a good sucking.

    It seems a mighty strange ideal, but it's the human standard. Men trying to have as many objects as possible, and women manipulating their way into being their most prized ones. But regardless of how it weirds me out sometimes I'm going somewhere with this.

    You know how a couple of years back I mumbled something about this jerkface who completely assholed out on me after my car accident? The one that told me to 'get my ass in the sun all i get is wine,,,,,wine can't awaser a phone' because I wasn't in the position to answer my phone all day? The one too obsessed with their own grandeur and life experience to realise I might, might just be needing a little bit of understanding? The one who's last words to me were something akin to 'thanks for fanly ill send someone to get the codes'? Yes - thats exactly the one! But I'm sure your first questions are, what does wine have to do with a phone, and why does anyone but Jack Bauer scream about codes like a junkie who's completely alone in understanding their importance? Those things are left for the smarter philosophers this planet has to offer, but I do have a tiny glimpse of insight myself.

    You see, this guy, who we've called The Comma because of his tendency to pin the comma button whenever exhaling during communication, is actually exactly like the boy with the stick. Sure, due to some string of random genetic or social positioning he's a tiny fish with not much sticks to show for it but he has the same base desires and life philosophies that drive him. And there's something I've learned about the Alpha Men on the planet from him. Basically, they're pathetic and pretty much the only pitiable creatures we can ever truly know. Unenlightened the people on this earth get so lost in this arbitrary conquest that the only results they can actually achieve focus on the misery they affect onto others. If that's not a call to know more, understand more, in order to prevent being so thoroughly flat and unsatisfied I don't know what is. It's true now more than ever. I can sort of see the appeal of brandishing shiny swords while leading your army into a giant spectacle, I can even comprehend the plus sides of sitting on one's jewelled throne while being fanned by a harem of religious children, but you have to say no throne should look like a shopping mall. And no crown should ever, under any circumstance, look like an expensive necktie. It just doesn't speak favorable of the abstracts behind it.
    Friday, April 8th, 2011
    8:35 pm
    Otter Time
    I went to see the otters at Sea Life Center today, among otter things. But I've gotter be serious with you; I mostly just wanted to see the otters!

    Click for Ottertime!Collapse )
    Monday, November 29th, 2010
    10:10 am
    Travel to the US
    Just a little mini-rant. But before I start I should probably say that I made it through okay and am having the best time of my life and nibbling on a couple of jellybeans right now. But things didn't look that bright for me (or us if I'm allowed to extend this a little bit!) at the airport. Basically I arrived at Schiphol ('Amsterdam' airport) way too early because I'm paranoid and cautious like that. I couldn't check in online in advance, even though it drilled me with dumb questions before telling me as much. It said that these type of trips can't be checked into online.. it seemed weird to me, but only later did I fully comprehend the nature of this deceptive message. I had to queue to a special desk for an hour and then the lady told me that it was in fact the spelling of my surname that created the complication. Fine, I thought, I was prepared for that nonsense anyway. This is just to explain what ate up my time.

    They couldn't check me in because the process didn't get the ESTA clearance. Even though I had applied to that over a month ago, and it approved me. She told me it probably was a typo of the passport number and this was fairly normal (it's apparently fairly normal that people get their entire vacation ruined over some arbitrary protocol). So I'd need to reapply at this shady little computer booth in the hall and pay with my non-existent creditcard and then hope for the best in a little less than an hour. There was nothing else to do. The entire lack of communicability is the biggest failure of this 'system'; it is a faceless moneytrap that provides nothing but problems. Covering one's ass from the 'you didn't even ask if they were a terrorist!' crowd at the expense of real people - real people here being defined by anyone who is not a politician without the slightest grasp of reality. I was really horrified when I tried to utilise this laggy little computer box that kept randomly reloading the page and losing the submitted data and found that there was no typo, I couldn't edit my submission to fix anything because there.. was no longer a submission; they had apparently deleted it at random. For a moment I saw myself in this dreadful place where the entire trip just fell through and there wasn't even an actual person to express this to. But.. I pride myself for keeping it together as well as I did and calling everyone I knew to help me out, and Jussi turned out to be my lifesaver that day. I don't even know how I can repay him, I find that simply amazing. Thank you.

    I ran into the plane just in time, got searched quite uncomfortably thorough and on arrival had three separate customs checkpoints to go through with fingerprints, photos, detailed interviews about my life and even got a special extra luggage check because apparently I'm that suspicious. But at least the TSA were actual people - though they did manage to hide that very professionally at times. All of this makes the cramped, disgustingly long plane trip seem really easy.

    In summary : what about including an ESTA form to go with the visa/plane ticket forms? True, they won't get 14USD out of that per attempt, but it would do the entire negative image that travel to the US has an amazing service.
    Friday, October 1st, 2010
    1:34 pm
    Woohoo!
    Idiots are knocking at my door. Apparently they can't read email in two weeks' time or can't decypher basic language. Reminds me of the people at city hall who've made a typo on my surname some time ago, and then tell me how it's written. Well then, why do you ask me when you already have all the answers to the universe and life itself? Meanwhile in this creepy foreign world we call reality I refer to their "correct spelling" as screwed up, thank you. I've been getting assurances from someone who actually matters that this won't be a problem for when I'm flying over to the US later this year. Yes, that's right, didn't I tell anyone? I'm going to the America World.

    And I'm going to like it, damnit! This is the point where I'm making fun of my angry frustrations, hah. I do actually have to take some time out to tell myself that yes I can get over myself again, just as I've done before. Helloooo self, I'm doing okay! A little silly jealousy here, a little nonsensical guilt there. I have to learn to listen to myself when I'm telling beautiful creatures what I mean because I'm apparently not hearing it clearly myself. It might be that I'm just a bit overwhelmed. Yes, that's probably it. This calls for tea.

    So, basically, my life is mostly an artful rollercoaster ride again, and it's occupying me intensely. I want to thank everyone who's been encouraging me of late, I really appreciate it! If I can stop procrastinating I can get this album project done before my trip, and otherwise I'll at least fill a few more sketchbooks to 'pass the time'. And I intellectually know that even that's something.
    Thursday, September 16th, 2010
    10:56 am
    What We're Up Against
    Just for the suspicions that think humanity is all that.. here's one for every :

    - established morality that thrives on repitition. Nothing ever questions what it's already doing.

    - cellphone DJ at the back of the tram. Noone wants to hear your autotuned crap coming out of your shitty micro-speakers in mass transit. You're not a big shot, you're ANNOYING.

    - 'friend' who consoles the depressed by telling them to get it together and be happy with nothing and not cry about it unless told they don't cry enough. This friend, of course, knows they are the exception, they are the only person with the ambition to be someone.

    - disconnected corporate wheel who passes responsibility to another. You're impossible to interact with and your future is that of an antipathic bottomless pit.

    My hopes are based on reality, not some dream world where we're already better than we actually are. Oh by the way, I'm either heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, asexual, or just kind of sexual. I'm not sure why this matters to anyone.
    Saturday, August 14th, 2010
    4:34 am
    The Inevitable Return of the Inevitable Return
    More fox and rabbit photographs for you. Also, a video if you're into bad nature documentaries. It's about 30 megabytes and it requires a popular codec in the Divx direction.

    Photograhps will commence beyond this point.Collapse )
    Wednesday, August 4th, 2010
    1:18 pm
    The Inevitable Return
    Needless to say, I returned a few times to see if my foxy friends would make a return. Thankfully I know my way around and have a fair idea of what it is that they do. It makes it more rewarding to venture forth. Of course I had varying degrees of success, what with noisy hooligans making their way through these areas too at times. And I know that if it's upsetting me, I can be sure that the foxes will shy away as well.

    But, hey, I have some photographs here.Collapse )

    ..and on another note, it just started raining indoors. Worse than before. I'm not sure which of my metaphors to continue, but it's fair to say that the Ogres didn't do a good job.
    Wednesday, July 28th, 2010
    12:31 am
    You Should Stop Here, it's Fox Country
    These are oddly exciting times for me, considering the dreadful heat. Fortunatly it has relented just a bit these past few days. I suppose my roof is fixed now, but since I've received no notification of it, there's no real way to be entirely sure (if I could trust their words, I'd ask for them). The result is that I need to build up trust with my couch again. Yes, it's exactly like getting back together with an ex - not that I'd know anything about such a thing.

    Besides playing electrician, I've had to play plumber again too today. Getting rid of a moth infestation in my bathroom drain is no light task when I'm not out to murder everything. Rather disgusting, and the drain is not made by someone with a high wisdom score - it's about as surprising as finding out that Professor-doctor 100% certified African Learned-Shaman Aboubakiri is capable of returning happiness to my life. Since he can solve any problem, the next time I have a plumbing issue I'll ask him to do it for me.

    So, a dusk-time trip to the beach seemed a good idea after that madness. It was raining and already quite late, but I persisted and, upon arriving, was glad that I did. Immediately I was greeted by rabbits hopping around left and right - a welcome sign if nothing else. (This is because everything is all related to me. I'm just that important.)

    Then however I saw something wondrous - two sibling foxes foraging. I smiled and proceeded as they made their way into the bushes. I was just doing some ridiculous football tricks (ridiculous here doesn't mean 'mad skill yo'; it means 'laughable') and considering it fortunate that it was so rainy and dark that I was sure that noone would see me in this state when I caught a glimpse of one of the foxes. Apparently he came back to see what this strange creature was doing with that ball. He was staring quite curiously and at length approached me cautiously. I think next time we'll get a good game of football going on.

    Officially the're no foxes in this area of the dunes, but I've never doubted it. For one, it always seemed like THE place for them. Perfect fox country, really. Secondly, I identified fox tracks some time two years ago. But this here is pretty definitive proof I should say.

    I stored the proof in my brain, because I took pictures with my eyeball-globes. It's good enough for me.
    Tuesday, July 13th, 2010
    12:08 am
    Pictures, Potentially Wet
    Leaking roof, day three. I accidentily reported that on my art journal instead of here. So you get the short version instead of the long and rambly one. On the upside I won't have to try to be funny, on the downside I.. won't be funny.

    It's like this; it's a big leak, and it's fairly destructive. I need to get some ogres to clamber across the roof to fix it. Waiting for this operation might cost a few towels. But, all towels in service of this team are prepared to give their lives, provided it's for the greater good. In other words, it has to be worthwhile. Ogres can't easily maneuver across the roof, you see, and it might be harder yet to convince them to go there.

    And now, three seemingly random photographs. Not of the leak, because that's no fun at all.

    Click to proceedCollapse )
    Thursday, June 24th, 2010
    1:19 am
    Improving Conditions.. Einsatzgruppen
    So, let me see if I can connect the dots to make sense of why all these idiots otherwise relatively intelligent individuals massively vote for the 'Freedom Party'. Don't be ashamed if you're not familliar with what I'm talking about, you can probably gather a few clues from the rubbish of ruin that lies ahead. Bring protective headgear, but be discriminate as to what sort of headgear you bring.

    This party, acronymed to 'PVV', has a main party goal that emphasises a return to the "tolerant" roots of the country without the Islam. It also equates immigrants to criminality. I won't go in-depth on the political science behind that, but would like to mention that they refer to this as "striving for traditional norms and values". Dutch politics drinking game; take a shot whenever someone mentions "norms and values" - don't play this game if you have a heart, liver, and are still among the living. In their manifesto they challenge you to choose between the Islam, and hope and optimism.

    Ever since there has been a lower class, the middle class has been afraid of it. Ever since there has been a lower class, there has been a fairly high criminality in the lower class. Guess which class immigrants tend to occupy? Human processing tends to pick up these patterns and emphasises the most notable features in the same way that Steven Seagal stands out in a group of actors. Emotional maturity isn't a traditional value. Nor is it a traditional norm.

    But Wilders, the PVV head, is aware of this too when he's playing the Economy crowd. He doesn't want anyone to tackle the troubling Islam/Hope and Optimism dilemma. He wants to burn! ban books and burqas, but tax the headscarf. Cripple and lie in wait. Essentially the aim here is to maintain an exploitable ratio of criminals. He's hoping there's plenty of desperation to go around, and in tolerant, democratic Earth there's rarely a short supply. There is no intention to incorporate "moderate muslims" in this part of society that's curtailing liberties under the banner of freedom. There's not a single move on this agenda that decriminalises or reduces the lower class itself, apparently the middle class wants something recognised to fear.

    He has a picture in his head of an enemy repeatedly getting stomped on, and it's the future 20% of the population is instictively escaping towards. Maybe my optimism is a feature of the "elitist left", but I think this is not an integral part of the concious rationale, but perhaps it is merely a symptom of massive scale obsessions with silly hats. It's enough to place my hope on considering the alternative.
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